Ain't a love song

This ain't a love song - Bon Jovi

I should have seen it coming when roses died
Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
I should have listened when you said good night
You really meant good bye
Baby, ain't it funny, how you never ever learn to fall
You're really on your knees, when you think you're standing tall
But only fools are "know-it-alls" and I played that fool for you

I cried and I cried
There were nights that died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy, baby

If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song

Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time
Like we got away with the perfect crime but
We were just a legend in my mind
I guess that I was blind
Remember those nights dancing at the masquerade
The clowns wore smiles that wouldn't fade
You and I were the renegades, some things never change

It made me so mad 'cause I wanted it bad for us baby
Now it's so sad that whatever we had, ain't worth saving
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I've cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yes I'm wrong, this ain't a love song

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

I cried and I cried
There were nights that I died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy

If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't no love song

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

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Something happened recently that was pretty sad. It reminded me of what happened to me.

I can only hope things will be better. Look forward, you may find a treasure trove.....I found mine.

Surprises

Past few days have been filled with surprises, some good and some bad.


I just received a call which brightened my day and brought a silly grin to my face.
Thanks a lot, means a lot to me.

What I am today - pathetic

I use to strive to do everything to the best of my ability. When it matters the most, effort just does not equate to the results achieved. Not just mediocre, but downright bad. It seems every time I put in more, I get less. And the fall is always 100 times harder. Life became a drag.

Reached a point where I had enough! I just did what was required, nothing more, nothing less. Amazingly, the returns I got were better than usual. I have gotten use to such life, so much so I try not to do any extra.

I lost that part of me that was all about achieving the goals and more.
I lost the drive to look beyond the horizon.
I lost the ability to walk the extra mile.

I came into University with that mentality. People don’t believe the almost 10% effort I put into my studies, cause I seem to be able to maintain a decent grade. It got me thru pretty well until now. I am faced with the true fact of life.

I screwed up – real bad.

I look at myself; I am disappointed with myself, with what I have done with my life. Yet, time and time again I do nothing about it. This is a mark of how low I have gone, how lost I am. Pathetic!

I was talking to a good friend, she told me certain things that was pretty thought provoking.

You are afraid of not being able to achieve....It's really a pity...You really get away or u got away with yourself? Got away because you put in no effort or because standards were lowered?

Every time you smile away things, but there seem to be so much inside you.

Interesting stuff

Here are some stuff I have accumulated that is worth a note:

Technorati
"Technorati is a real-time search engine that keeps track of what is going on in the blogosphere the world of weblogs."

Blogsome
For all who inspire to use Wordpress, but are too cheapo to pay for their own domain. Basically wordpress gives you a clean sleek blog layout that is easy to use.

Tomorrow
A new site run by the powerhouses in Singapore blogging.

Kenny
Kickass Malaysian blogger. Really amusing posts.

Flickr
For hosting of pictures. Usage of tags and sets....interesting concepts which infact are a big thing now.

Koder
For the geeky programmmers to find codes

yagoohoogle.com
Fuse yahoo and google....what do you get?

RSS
Some stuff to get you started on RSS. If you wondering why you have this orange box on the bottom left of your Firefox browser for some webpages....go ahead and read up. Basically it is a no frills application to let you know if the page is updated. Kenny (the link above) has a pretty good guide to it. Nifty technology!

SphereXP
I thought this was an itneresting concept. Another way to redefine your desktop.

"3D desktop replacement for Microsoft Windows XP. Taking the known concept of three-dimensional desktops to its own level. It offers a new way to organize objects on the desktop such as icons and applications"

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That is all for now

倔強

倔強 - 五月天

當 我和世界不一樣 那就讓我不一樣
堅持對我來說 就是以剛克剛
我 如果對自己不行 如果對自己說謊
即使別人原諒 我也不能原諒

最美的願望 一定最瘋狂
我就是我自己的神 在我活的地方

我和我最後的倔強 握緊雙手絕對不放
下一站是不是天堂 就算失望不能絕望

我和我驕傲的倔強 我在風中大聲的唱
這一次為自己瘋狂 就這一次 我和我的倔強
(就這一次 讓我大聲唱啦啦啦...)

對 愛我的人別緊張 我的固執很善良
我的手越骯髒 眼神越是發光
你 不在乎我的過往 看到了我的翅膀
你說過被火燒過才能出現鳳凰

逆風的方向 更適合飛翔
我不怕千萬人阻擋 只怕自己投降

Beckham wannabe

My niece is 1 month old. To mark the milestone, she decided to style her hair like Beckham.

Slaughtered, chopped, minced, pulverised, smashed, vapourised

Every exams I will make a major boo boo. The last time I mistook the ending time, now I mistook the module for the exams.

Yes....you read right. I thought the paper for today was codeword 206, but actually it was 205. Imagine the shock I had the previous night at 7pm when my friend told me my error. I just blanked out. I literally off my computer and went into revision for the correct paper. The flurry of activties left me with little hours of sleeping time.

I swear the lecturers can sniff out things I will skip in the notes. Little things here and there, information which you think was not important. That is what happened today, those little bits and pieces came back to haunt me.

I tend to circle questions I don't know how to do. Today's paper reached a point that I gave up doing that, I decided instead to tick those I know. Why? Cause there were too many circles.

So pissed with myself.

Summary

So many things are happening at the moment, so let me jot it down in points....

1) Congratulations to the new pope. Though from what I read, he is a little too conservative for my comfort. I am not looking for radical changes, just some correlation with the situation of the world today.

2) Why does it seem that the IR has been decided monthS ago? I read the papers put up and wonder, did they really do it in such a short period of time after deciding to go ahead with the casino...opps sorry, it is Integrated Resorts.

3) 2 IR seems too much for a tiny red dot. But look at this way, my engineering friends now have jobs. I can also finally fufil my lifelong dream of throwing cards through the air, 'listening' to the dice, heck....I will use a $10 chip to win the casino.

4) Hell yeah, your Minister Mentor even say give the go ahead with sugar coated speech. Ever wonder why new posts like SM and MM are created in the government?

5) How many times must one apologise? Ask Japan that

6) Why must one have so much ego and refuse to TRUELY acknowledge your wrong doings? Ask Japan that too.

7) Macromedia has been bought over by Adobe....whopping US$3.4 billon. Interactive pdf?

Untitled

Untitled - Simple Plan

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Incoherent, random thoughts...

I need to change due to circumstances.
Life is a bumpy road, I guess we hit the pothole again.
I am the only liability.
I need, will, am going to change.

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I am forever grateful for what you have given me. I have upmost respect for what you have sacrificed for us. I am sorry I have been, still am such a load. I am sorry I have been such a letdown. You see me as a kid who cannot do much. I want and will help, just tell me how.

-------------------------------------------------------
I am nothing without your support, care and concern. I am sorry I have been selfish. I only regret I never do anything to help.

-------------------------------------------------------
I am proud to be in the same ranks as you. I am thankful of what you are doing, of you holding us together. I wish I could match up.

-------------------------------------------------------

The title says it all....just some jumbled up thoughts

Exam Sutra

There are many ways to study, here are some from the sacred Exam Sutra's 102 ways to acheieve your desired potential.

Excerpt:

1) Study with music blasting all around (For those who need a medium for information transfer)

2) Study with a group of friends (For those who will die without company)

3) Isolate yourself, be a hermit (For those easily distracted)
.
.
.
.
(etc etc....just fill in your own methods)
.
.
.

Hereby on, only the truly enlightend can try....
99) Play game and read your notes (Good game to try is Football Manager)

100) Surf the net, chat and do every other thing other than studying

101) Bob your head up and down, left and right (Helps if u close your eyes)

Last method is for those who has attained Nirvana....
102) Place your forehead on your book, close your eyes and meditate


I am proud to say I have reached the stage of true enlightenment and nirvana

Unwanted

Little Anastasia has taken over my room. So I decided to spend more time in hall, if not one of the family members need to sleep on the floor. Not that I am complaining much, it is exam period so I usually stay in hall to TRY get some work done. (TRY being the highlighted word here) My mum told me if I come back I can sleep in the hall. So sweet of her!

Now my relatives are coming to bunk over my place due to renovations. Hmmm....I wonder where I am going to sleep. Unwanted I tell you....unwanted.

Wake me up before u go go.....

Many people can attest to the fact that it is almost impossible to wake me up from sleep. Many tired, but only few succeeded. I will smack anything that is trying to wake me up. I will go into deep hibernation where even the pillow slamming onto my head will do no good.

That was why my mum gave me the alarm clock which made an annoying loud ringggggggg, it was so irritating that even my roommate complained about it. Even so, she handed me the clock with a worrying face as I embarked on living alone in the halls of ulu NTU.

As any living creature, I adapted to the clock. I slammed it the moment the first ring came. And of course I went back to sleep after that - which resulted in many missed lectures. I was determined to get back on track, I got my roommate, geek, to use any form of violence to wake me up. He tired calling me, but to no avail. He switched to the pillow smacking technique, I soon showed him my iron body kungfu I cultivated from the years of hitting my sister gave me. The most effective to date was his cane. I secretly threw it away.

My trusty clock withstand most of the abuse I gave it. Smacks after smacks, it still faithfully tries to irritate me. Then came shorty...barged into my room and asserted his 'height'. Wham bam, the clock slammed onto the floor. I picked it up, and amazingly it still kindda worked. The screen was a little distorted, I had to manually push the switch back every time I want to on the alarm. But it still worked.

A few days of waking up late for my revision....I realised that the clock was a gonner. It has lost its reliability as it was going to sleep as and when it liked. Dammn, if I fail my exams, shorty is going to become real short. I tried Geek's tiny alarm clock, futile effort to wake me....I just slept past its meek attempt to wake me up.

I trudged down to the nearest shop to get a new LOUD RINGGGING clock. Behold.....the one and only thing which can wake me up, with new snooze function (Battery included).

Now....to try if it will wake me up. Nites

Why?

to err is human,
to forgive, admirable,
but to forgive and forget, that's divine.



That is my version of a very well known quote. I am not asking for anything more than learning to forgive. Is that so difficult?

Why harp on such details? Why remember the pain? Why harbour such feelings? Why make a big fuss over such a small matter?

Why...

NEVER....DO NOT....MUST NOT!!!!!

4am in the morning, tired after an hour of mugging, what can you do to relax?

1) You can surf the net for news
2) Chat with any other insane friends online at this time
3) Game
4) Sleep
5) etc

One thing you should NEVER do....that is to surf for food. I chanced upon a food blog....
Started reading it (I love that blog, nice pics and indepth reviews) and REGRETED!

I am now hungry, cold, hungry, tired, hungry....hungry.....food....must eat.....food.....

*plonks on the floor*

OXYMORONS

act naturally
Advanced BASIC
bittersweet
butthead
calm wind
cardinal sin
cheerleading scholarship
computer security
clearly ambiguous
clearly confused
clearly misunderstood
comfortably dressed
conservative liberal
constructive attitude
corporate conscience
diet ice cream
even odds
exact estimate
extinct life
fan fatale
found missing
freezer burn
fresh-frozen
friendly fire
good grief
good shit
government organization
guest host
holy war
home office
humanitarian invasion
ill health
industrial park
instant classic
jumbo shrimp
least favorite
legally drunk
light rock
linear curve
liquid gas
little giants
living dead
long briefing
marital bliss
Microsoft Works
mild interest
military intelligence
minor crisis
minor miracle
misanthropic humanitarian
modern history
natural blonde
non-alcoholic beer
non-alcoholic wine
non-dairy creamer
old news
only choice
original copies
paid volunteer
passive aggression
peacekeeper missile
player coach
pretty ugly
randomly organized
real potential
resident alien
rock opera
rolling stop
sad clown
sanitary sewer
same difference
second best
seriously funny
silent scream
socialist market economy
soft rock
software documentation
standard deviation
straight angle
sweet sorrow
synthetic natural gas
taped live
tax returns
terribly enjoyable
terribly pleased
tight slacks
tragic comedy
turbo diesel
twelve-ounce pound cake
unbiased opinion
uncrowned king
united nations
unsung hero
vaguely aware

Wa si hokkien lang. Hokkien lang tak hokkien blog

Amazingly, this fellow blogs in Hokkien!
Funny as hell! Check out the Bu lek Ferst entry.

Got to brush up my hokkien!!!


ps* Ping >> Don't bother to try the link.

Girls application form

I ripped this from my hall's website. Thought it was pretty funny.

Guys application form

Where is the equality?

Happy 23rd Birthday

Gabriel Lee Ting Peng......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

It has been a long time...

Here's a MSN conversation I had in the WEE hours (ard 4am)
Ping: Should I cut my fringe?
Me: Go ahead, be brave
Ping: Ok...I go try now!
Me: *SHOCK HORROW* Ehh....I mean go saloon and cut. Don't blame me if it looks bad leh!
(no reply)
(no reply)
Ping: You die!! I have 1/4 fringe left.
Me: OMG!

I thought the vain Pingpong will never do such a klutz thing. Shit! I feel bad. I went on to give some ways to overcome a hairstyle disaster while trying to imagine how toot can she look like! She continue to bombard me with sad smilys and heart wrenching statments that the world has come to an end. I dived deeper into a state of guilt........

Ping: April's Fool!
Me: You are nuts! *phew*

Emotional stickup sucks! I am going to CUT YA HAIR the next time I see u! Bleh!

It has been a long time since I got an April's Fool prank. How I wish I can return to those days.

Don't worry ping...you are still loved. Even if you are not, I am sure your thick skin-ness will make u think otherwise! haha!

Tutorial

"Studying",

Exams are coming!
Everyone's mugging!

But I am sleeping in class. (What's new!) If you want to do it, you got to do it in style (just like me)