Faith

Recently a friend ask me about my religion and my current beliefs. It ended in a really long discussion. I can see his sad that I have abandon my faith.

I have been pretty wayward when it comes to my religion for some time. There are a lot of factors and reasons to it. I guess the main reason I started to decline from my faith is that I cannot reconcile the teachings and what my personal beliefs. I tried, and it is so difficult to step into church not thinking of how hypocritical I am. It is so tough not feeling the eyes of God staring down on me. I tried to find my way, but it just does not feel right. It does not feel good to feel guilty of actions, thoughts, beliefs that you believe in.

Confuse I am not. I know what I believe in. So do I still consider myself as a Catholic? I dont't want to just renouce what I have spent half my life with. I am a lost sheep trying to find my way.