I thought so

I thought I left this place behind me when I went to Japan.
But I decided it the new place is not the right place to voice my frustrations.
And once again, I return.

So much has happened. Not that I did not see it coming. But I wanted to believe it was not true. Murphy`s Law perhaps?
So many things happened, be it from me or from those around me. So much so, I have lost faith, respect, hope and love.

I want to voice my saddness, anger, pain...
I want to find somewhere I can just lie down and let my mind quieten down.
But I have lost the what little trust I have left. Turning the pain, tears and all into solitude. I am drifting further away from people.

I become so numbed. Sometimes I wonder is it better to be the loser who just runs away. I really dont`t want to be here anymore.

What do you want me to do? Tell me WHAT!
I really thought I have harderned my heart and mind. But this have brought it to a new level; perhaps I am as good as dead.......



It is all a facade.
Who am I?

I am who I want you to think I am...